*UPDATE: Best Buddies: What’s in a Name? by Mother Melania Salem Book Tour, Guest Post & Giveaway! {Ends 6/30/23}

Screamin’ Steven Stops Screaming

When I first came to the monastery, one of the nearby Orthodox churches had started a ministry to the local homeless people, and some of them took to hanging around the church property. Among them was a man whom the kids referred to as “Screamin’ Steven.” Steven was an alcoholic and, as his nickname suggests, he wasn’t the quiet version. He was harmless, though, and had become an accepted member of the community. When he got too loud, one of the men would quietly but firmly ask him to leave, and he would always listen. Otherwise, he was welcome to hang out. So, bit by bit, we got to know him.

Also, bit by bit, so slowly that it never really registered with me, Screamin’ Steven started to change. At some point, though, I realized that he wasn’t screaming nearly as much, he could have a prolonged coherent conversation, etc. Then, one day, when I hadn’t seen him for awhile, I asked the priest wheremhe was. To my joy and astonishment, Steven had gotten clean and had gone home to reconcile with his family, whom he hadn’t seen in some twenty years. He did come back, and last I heard, he was still clean and functioning well in society.

So, what’s the moral of this story? Love unconditionally? Never give up on people? Well, yes, but it’s not quite that simple. Loving unconditionally doesn’t mean letting people do whatever they want. Nor does it mean subjecting our children to dangerous situations. Nor does it even mean not humbly recognizing our own limited ability to help others. Deciding HOW to love people requires discernment, which I think that the leadership of this church had in abundance. They had standards that Steven and the other homeless people had to adhere to. And they certainly would never have put the children in danger. But within that context, they DID refuse to give up on Steven and the others, and the results
were amazing.

I would love to tell you that ALL the homeless people who frequented the Church had the same story as Steven did, but we both know that didn’t happen. What we DON’T know, though, is how these people ended their days and whether the love given them made a difference in the end. And that is plenty enough reason to keep loving everyone around us as wisely and patiently as we can. When our OWN ends come, it may make a difference for us, too.

By Mother Melania